post-traumatic competition syndrome

yes this is a new term and for anybody that has done this type of competition – i guarantee they can relate!  kim warned me, but nothing could prepare me for the week to follow the competition.  i’m a really structured person and this competition created a great amount of structure for me from when and what i ate, to when i woke up and went to bed, when i worked out…everything!  so while everyone (along with me!) thought that eating whatever i wanted and taking a few days off from the gym would be wonderful after the competition…blah.  no bueno.  i seriously just wanted monday to get here so i could start a new program…which is another potential blog topic…why do i have to wait until monday to start a new program?  i do that all the time….so frustrating…but i digress…

anyway, back to the whole post competition thing.  i think that there was just so much excitement leading up to it and i was so focused….and then when it was over i just didn’t know what to do with myself.  in addition to all that, the reason i’d decided to do a competition was not only to reach the next level of fitness for myself, but also to help me get through a fairly tough time in my personal life.  it did help – it gave me something to work toward and forced me to focus on myself…but then when the competition was over, unfortunately a lot of all those fun emotions were still waiting for me to deal with.  blah blah blah.  not trying to be depressing, just honest.  i don’t want for one second for it to seem that this whole deal is just a walk in the park – it’s tough mentally and physically and i was prepared for that…but i just wasn’t prepared for what was to come after it was over.  kim told me that this would happen – that it would feel like the day after christmas…ha ha…so true!   so this past week?  i  maybe worked out 2 times at the gym and then went for a jog at the beach…my eating wasn’t too out of control because i eat fairly healthy anyway…but my portions were out of whack.  to top it all off i didn’t write in my fitbook (gasp!  shocking i know!) because i’d finished my 12 weeks at the competition and i really didn’t want to start a new fitbook on an ‘off’ week.  so that threw me off even further.  it wasn’t all bad though…i enjoyed some vino, a nice steak, had golden spoon one night…but for me, it was just the unknown of what my goals where and not having any direction whatsoever.  so now that the week is behind me – i’m glad it’s monday!!!

i’m setting my sights on my next goal…there is another figure competition in 3 weeks but that’s a bit too soon for me.  i need to spend some quality time on fitlosophy…my poor baby has been neglected due to the competition.  but for sure, my next competition is on june 27th in hawaii!!!  yay!  kim and gunter are behind the hawaiian islands bodybuilding and figure competition and so i’ve decided to compete there for sure – and take myself on a nice little vacay at the same time.  so that is 8 weeks out!  i’m spending the night tonight putting together my plan for how to get there and what i need to change up.  i spoke with a judge from the competition after it was over – she’s a pro – and she said i need to work on bringing my lats out and capping my shoulders a bit more….those are areas we knew we needed to work on so i’ll keep doing that.  you have NO idea how relieved i am to just be back in the swing of things…i’ve got my fitbook, i’m writing down my goals, planning my workouts…yes, i know i’m a structure freak.  but this is all part of learning who you are and what works for you.  i know that some people don’t understand the strict workout program or diets…but i like having some sense of control over something in my life and that’s one thing i can control.  of course i won’t be as strict on some things when i’m not competing…like a little glass of wine with dinner or golden spoon when i feel like it…but for some reason, i need that sense of structure.  yep – typical type A control freak!  ha ha!  so today was a new day and i hit the gym with a vengeance and am back on my eating plan…but not the last 3 weeks (1200 calories!)…i’m happy at the 1500-1600 level for now and then about 3 weeks out from hawaii i’ll cut back again.  i’m really looking forward to competing again actually…now that i’ve done it before i know that i can improve my posing and have more fun with it.

on a completely separate note: my girlfriend came over tonight all happy because she just finished her first fitbook and she showed me her 12 week results.  she lost 6lbs, 5% body fat, 4 inches in her waist, and 1 inch from her hips…but most importantly are 2 things i see: she’s making drastically different decisions when it comes to food which makes me happy – that’s lasting change that will benefit her from here on out, but most importantly i see confidence in her that she didn’t have 12 weeks ago.  part of this whole journey for me has been enjoying the positive influence that my decision to really be ‘open’ about my competiting and my goals has had on those around me.  i’m in no way taking credit for her accomplishments…but i do know that just being a healthy and fit person rubs off on those around you because they become more aware of their choices.  this is the same girlfriend that came over to take my pics for me every single week…and she kinda wanted to go on this journey together and i’m so proud of her hard work and am happy to see it paying off for her.  so we just both started our new fitbooks today, established our next 12 week goals…and off we go.  i guess i’m seeing new value in the little fitbook that i didn’t even see before….seeing her flip through it and show me where she started and where she is now…the confidence and pride in seeing her hard work pay off…that’s what i see.  aside from just numbers on paper – that little fitbook is just proof of her hard work and dedication.  i feel the same way when i look at my fitbook from the last 12 weeks…it becomes a part of you and your everyday.  so yes – of course i love the little fitbook and believe in it 100% (hello!?!)…but i guess i got a glimpse first-hand into how it’s changing lives and that to me means more than anything.  so i’m gonna ease up on myself about having a bad week, take a step back and realize i’m human just like everyone else, smile knowing that i achieved a very tough goal that i set out to reach, and give myself credit for growing a little company that is making people’s lives better…not too shabby.

by request: before + after pics

i meant to do this before…here are pics so you can see my progress over the 12 weeks!  before i was at 112 with 15% body fat and at competition i was 104 with 11.5% body fat.  it’s kinda hard to tell as much with the bathing suit i had on in my one week pics (or as kim called it, my granny suit!)…but you can see the muscle definition development.  plus it would help if i knew how to pose in the first week – but you can see how my shoulders and lats really came in and my legs and but were a lot more toned.  important point: i like how i looked before…this was never about losing weight or changing my body for any other purpose than to reach a personal goal.  this whole process has taught me a lot about myself, some negative but mostly positive, and i just want to make it clear that it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside if you aren’t happy on the inside.  it’s tough reaching this level of physical fitness because you want to maintain it – but you know it’s nearly impossible to stay this way all the time.  what i want people to see when they look at my before and after pics, aside from the inches i lost or the muscle i gained (which of course you’ll notice – hello!)…i want people to know just how much i grew during this experience…how for the first time in my life i was completely and utterly proud of myself and comfortable in my own skin.  i’ve always had certain aspects of my life that were easy for me: business, school…anything that took hard work – i knew i could put the time in and achieve anything.  but something like this is much more personal – it’s just you out there and whether people know it or not, i’m extremely shy and self-conscious in those situations.  THAT is why i was so embarassed – on the verge of tears really – after the pre-judging because i was just so nervous.  but that is also why i am so proud of myself.  i went back out there during the finals and did my best and was me.  the fun, flirty and confident me.  to be myself in that environment when you really put yourself out there…well i was just pretty darn proud of myself. so in closing – yes it is pretty cool to see the physical changes take place over the past 12 weeks and i’m going to challenge myself to keep enhancing my level of fitness…but the changes that took place inside me far outweigh any physical transformation.  hopefully everyone can apply this to their own life and know that it’s not about what you look like but how you feel about yourself.  once you can develop that positive self image and know you’re worth taking care of – the physical changes you’re seeking will soon follow.  ok…enough of my dr. phil moment…i was feeling inspired.

pics now posted!

ok so i had technical difficulties with my darn blog last night…in case pics weren’t showing up for you…they are now!
http://angelamanzanares.wordpress.com/2009/04/29/competition-details-pics/
enjoy!

competition: details + pics!

whew!  so i’ve almost fully recovered from the big competition weekend…i’m exhausted!  but i really wanted to give a run down of the big day because it was so much fun and anybody that’s followed me on this journey probably wants to know what it was like!  so – in my usual style – here are more details than you probably ever wanted to know!   i have a ton of pics but i’m going to just post the ones that mean the most to me…and tell you why! 

getting ready…
we had to be there bright and early for the ‘athlete briefing’ at 8am which meant i had to be up and at ‘em at 6:30am.  mom and i arrive wandering around with not a clue in the world what we’re doing…and i guarantee i was the only one there dragging my mom with me everywhere.  i’m so glad she was there though – it helped so much to have her support in an environment that was so foreign to me.  she’s been my #1 fan in everything i’ve ever done, but this was definitely outside her realm. little different than our days trekking to high school rodeos (yes, rodeo), cheerleading competitions, and all my other activities. but she was there – as always.  so we got me checked in and soon after my trainer/girlfriend got there to get me all prettied up for the show.  she finished up my makeup, put on my fake eyelashes, and finished up my last coat of tanning…all the while i’m asking about 10 times what the heck i’m supposed to actually do before i go on stage.  i was SOOOO nervous!  so this pic is kim prepping me with my final coat of paint, me crunching my m&ms and flexing my little bicep!  love this pic because it just shows how much time and effort she put into making sure i was as prepared as possible for the big day….hours of painting, on top of all the training and nutrition plan…not to mention just being there for me emotionally!

pre-judging
ok so the way it works is they have the first round of ‘pre-judging’ which is basically where they do the judging and decide on the placing…and then everyone goes back that night for the finals to find out how you did.  so did i mention i was nervous?  the show starts at 11am and my division (figure) was 2nd to last which means that you’re down in this little teeny tiny room with all the other figure girls getting ready.  talk about intimidating…everyone’s all dolled up and getting ready…some girls are pumping iron the whole time and i’m looking around clueless, popping my peanut m&ms wondering what the heck i’m supposed to be doing! oh – the m&m’s thing: so basically my body was completely dehydrated and the idea on the day of the competition is to only take in carbs to feed your muscles, and then right before you go on stage you take in sugars and when you pump up all your muscles the sugars/carbs go straight to your muscles because they are so depleted…and your muscles pop and look all pretty!  talk about being happy that my entire diet for the day was oatmeal, peanut butter, peanut m&ms, chocolate…yummy!!  so since i was clueless as to what i was doing, i asked a ton of questions to the girls that had done this before.  i got to know some of the girls and there were so many that were just sweet as can be.  they answered all my questions – obvious i’m sure that it was my first competition!  so after much anticipation it was about 15m before we went on so all i was doing was using my resistance band to get my muscles all ready to go…and practicing my posing too.  yeah so i learned the ‘model pose’ which is the one hand on the hip pose…yeah had no clue what that was until about 10m before…but i learned it quickly!  then of course i had to go to the bathroom which was an experience in and of itself all strapped in my bikini!  i was literally in the bathroom when they called my name for the line-up…of course, leave it to me!  ha ha!  so we go line up and we parade on stage and i can’t even tell you how bad i was shaking…my teeth were chattering, my knees were knocking, and i was completely and utterly nervous.  they call your division and you all parade out on stage and stay in your model pose until they call your number, then you go to the center of the stage, hit your front pose, then back pose, turn around and do your model pose again and then do this funny little curtsy…who knows what mine looked like!  then you join the line again, they bring you all out in a line and do comparisons where you do quarter turns and at that point they’re comparing your bodies at each angle to each other.  all i heard from the audience was a bunch of screams and ‘get your head up angela!!’ which was kim yelling for me to lift my head up.  i think i was so nervous that i literally was trying to hide – who knows, but the pictures are hilarious because all the girls are posed perfectly and there i am staring at the ground!  ha ha!  all i know is that all i was hoping was that i posed right because it went by so fast – and secondly, i was hoping no one could see my body shaking from my nerves!  that said – i did it and was so proud…here are my favorite pics from the pre-judging…note the head down!!

down-time
so after pre-judging i met up with all my friends and family that came to watch me…i must admit i was super duper nervous to go out and see everyone.  in a way i was just embarassed because i knew how nervous i was and had no clue how i did.  but on my way to go find my entourage (ha ha!) this great guy and his wife pulled me aside and he said ‘hey aren’t you the girl that i saw earlier with your mom?  didn’t you say this was your first competition?’ (ha ha – see i was the only one with my mom!!)  so i said yes…and he just went on to tell me that i did extremely well, that my phsyique is amazing and that i’m a ‘total package’…and that he would encourage me to keep competing.  i told him that meant the world to me because i was so nervous and didn’t know how i even did because i was shaking so bad.  he just told me that all i needed to do was polish my presentation a bit and i’ll do incredible.  i’m so glad i saw him before i saw my friends…that made me feel better!  so then i went and saw the clan and of course they told me how proud they were of me…but then of course everyone asked why the heck i was staring at the floor and the girl’s butt in front of me!!  ha ha!  i’m not saying i wasn’t proud of myself – but i was frustrated because i felt like i didn’t do my best.  the only thing that made me feel better was knowing that all the feedback i got was that body-wise, i looked great…i just needed to work on my posing and stage presence.  so here’s probably my favorite pic of all of them…these are all my friends (and my mom!) that were there to support me.  this picture just makes me smile…the fact that i had my close friends there…and even the ones that couldn’t make it were texting me and wanting to know how it was going…and of course i talked to my family too back in colorado.  i am so grateful for each and every person that has supported me not just that one day – but each day for the past 12 weeks.  so if you’re one of those people…thank you so much!!   so we all went to california pizza kitchen and grabbed some lunch before the finals that night…

the finals
round 2 i was a bit more comfortable…i knew what to expect so this time around i was down in the room with all the girls…waiting for the figure part of the show (the very end!!).  it was pretty cool too because i just happened to pull out my fitbook to write down what i was eating and all the girls wanted to see it…i wasn’t even trying to promote it but the girls loved it!  pretty neat.  anyway,  at one point i look up on the monitor to see the big ol’ bodybuilders doing their routines and just had to giggle at what the heck was probably going through my mom’s head right then.  what a different world for her!  for most of my friends actually…what troopers!  so it wasn’t until 9:30pm (long day!) that figure finally started and us shorties (division a, 5’2″ and under) went on.  i had popped my m&ms, got my muscles all popping and practiced my posing…but my main focus was 1) head up and 2) smile.  the finals were actually a lot more fun – they had music which loosened me up and when you came on this time they announced your name which got me all pumped up!  i decided just to go out there and have fun…and i did!  i was still nervous, but this time i hit my poses, was much more confident and held my head high!  i heard all my friends yelling for me and that just made me smile.  kim was in the front row yelling for me…it just all made me feel like i was on cloud 9.  so we do our line-up and quarter turns and then we parade off…and then as we’re leaving they tell you if you’re top 5…because top 5 turns around and goes back out for trophies.  so when i walked by and the guy told me ‘top 5′ – i was SO elated!!!  so out we go again, do our little quarter turns again and they gave us trophies…i got 4th place and i didn’t really even care what place!  i was so happy i got a little trophy!!  after finals, this time instead of being timid to go see my friends i was bouncing out to find them because i was so happy…i knew i did my best that time and was SO happy!  here are some of my favorite pics from the finals…you can tell i had a lot more fun and was more relaxed!!

 

 

 

celebration!
so after it was over i was just elated to see my friends and family and show off my little trophy (which oddly has amazingly large boobs and butt…ha ha!) and then EAT!  it was such a long day and instead of hitting the wine bar like i’d planned, we were so tired that we just went over to cheesecake factory where i thoroughly enjoyed a glass of wine, a kobe beef burger (and yes that’s brocolli instead of fries…i was craving it!), and the yummiest cheesecake i’ve ever tasted!  most of all it was just nice to be with my friends and celebrate!  but i must admit i enjoyed grubbing on my food - oh-so-tasty!  this is why people are fat…all the foods that are good for you taste so darn good! ha ha!  but of course i felt like absolute crap after!  speaking of after, this was the way the night ended:  we went back to pick up my car in the parking lot since we drove over together to dinner, and yes – my car was parked in the high school parking lot at 2 in the morning.  oh joy!  needless to say i finally got it out sunday morning after quite a debacle, but it was a hilarious (well not at the time!) way to end the day.  i was honestly too tired to care!

final thoughts
this was an incredible experience that i’ll never forget.  it was 12 weeks of hard work both emotionally and physically – but i’m so proud of myself and thankful for having experienced it.  just a few thanks that i want to give before i wrap my lengthy little blog:
to kim (aka mama bird): for taking your time to see me through this entire experience from beginning to end.  having trained with one of THE top trainers there is out there…amazing, but gaining a true friend in the process has been priceless. 
to mom: for coming out to support me in something that you couldn’t even relate to or understand…but you did because you love me.  and you even got into it?!  you loved getting me all dolled up and being so proud…and i loved having you here for this experience.
to my friends and family: for putting up with my wierd diet, my endless detail about things you probably don’t even care about…but doing it all because you care about me.  from the monday-night-rendezvous photo sessions to my helpful spotters at the gym, and everyone being so understanding of my special diet and crazy training schedule…i’m so thankful.  the i only hope i can be as good to all of you as you have been to me.
to my blog followers: your kind words and support over the past 12 weeks have kept me going…i only hope that my openness about this experience (and my life) has shown you that you can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it, but most importantly – it’s not easy but that you just take it one day at a time.  but most importantly – remember that reaching your goals is SO worth it…and i support all of you 100% in whatever you set your mind to.

so in closing…this is the detailed rendition of my amazing experience.  if you’re sad to think that the blogging will now come to an end…never fear!  you know me – i’ve got a lot to say still!  some things coming later this week: update on fitlosophy (poor little company has been neglected the past few days), my post-traumatic competition disorder (adjusting to life post-competition), and my next goals (will she compete again?!). 
until then…
angela

p.s.  few more pics from my photo session with mom and kim that i thought i’d share!

woo hoo…i did it!

so this is a quick blog because my momma’s still here and after a LONG day yesterday i just want to relax and spend time with her before she leaves tomorrow.  BUT i wanted to at least give an update that yesterday was AMAZING, exhausting, but so much fun in every way.  of course i will give full details in a few days but here’s a few pictures from the finals…and me with my trophy!  i was so happy to take 4th place at my first show.  the whole experience far exceeded my expectations and was more fun than i anticipated…even the getting painted part!    enjoy the pics and stay tuned for the full rundown of events in the next few days along with all the pics!!
now off to be with momma…and enjoy a yummy dessert!

tomorrow’s the big day!

so what a whirlwind of a day…unless you go through this i don’t think anyone understands just how much goes into getting ready for this kinda thing!  the morning started off with my morning oatmeal and a half a banana (i haven’t had banana in over 8 weeks!)…then headed to the gym for my ‘last chance workout’ as they call it on the biggest loser, although at this point i think i was just working off nerves because my body’s as good as it’s gonna get!  then i sat in the sauna for about 20m to try and lose some water.  speaking of – no water today, only just a tiny bit (distilled) – but basically none other than to take my supplements and drink my dandelion root tea.  then i had to run home, shower my last shower, shave really good, and then have my mom put on another coat of paint which was hilarious. my mom’s a trooper.  so after my bronzing session i had to go get waxed, get my toes done, get last minute things for the show like tack (to keep the suit in place), hooks for my bikini, and all sorts of things.  all the while i’m having to eat every 3 hours…my poor nail technician had to bear the smell of tuna, brown rice and asparagus during my pedicure!  then this afternoon my girlfriend came down to put on another coat of paint…ok now i’m dark!  dark dark.  it’s rather funny.  i look about like the chocolate easter bunny in the easter basket my mom brought out to me.  speaking of which: how sweet is my family?  i got home from the gym with a little easter (since they live far away we couldnt’ be together on easter) and good luck surprise.  it was a little red (favorite color!) insulated bag to pack my food, filled with peeps, a chocolate easter bunny, and peanut m&ms…those are what i’ll be munching on during the competition tomorrow (more on that later).  and then a beautiful bracelet to wish me good luck – along with cards from my mom and dad, and sister-in-law and brother.  i’m so blessed…i’ve got all kinds of texts and emails today wishing me luck! 

anyway – after my painting i proceeded to make my 5oz flank steak (yum!!) and then got ready really quick for dinner at mastro’s steakhouse…such a shame i couldn’t have a steak because it’s my absolute favorite, but i enjoyed a BIG glass of amazing wine, steamed asparagus (amazingly better when someone else prepares it for you!), and probably the best darn baked sweet potato ever.  it was hilarious – the waiter’s brought every one else their steaks and brough me just a big empty plate to serve my asparagus and sweet potato on!  then…ah…raspberry sorbet!  it was an amazing dinner – but more amazing to spend it with people who love and support me.  what fun this all is!  so now i’m relaxing with my dandelion root tea, hoping to heavens that i did everything right over the past 12 weeks and just trying to not get too nervous for tomorrow. 

i have to be there bright and early at 8am all ready to go – but here’s what i’m looking forward to.  we’ve depleted my body now of any water and my muscles will basically fluff up at the first sign of carbs/sugar.  so – breakfast i get to have oatmeal with honey(!)…then snack all day on carb/sugar…peanut m&m’s, rice cakes, peanut butter…hello!?!  how happy am i?!!?  if only i could have a little shot of tequila to calm the nerves before i go on stage! ha ha ha!  no – i’ll be fine.  i’m just excited to do this…and then celebrate after.  i’m proud of myself.  this has been quite the adventure and had many high moments and a few tough times too.  but reaching my goal has been completely worth it.  whether i place 5th or 1st…i did it and that alone is enough for me.  (ok – i wanna win but that’s just because i’m super competitive!!!).  so be thinking of me tomorrow.  no blog tomorrow…i’ll be busy all day and celebrating all night!  but guarantee i’ll update everyone on how i did…or go online anytime after sunday to see the results at: http://www.musculardevelopment.com/lindsay/

thanks to everyone for your support along the way! 
wish me luck…
ang

butt whoopin’…then paintin’!

i’m exhausted and am completely feeling funky today – definitely the wierdest my body has felt yet…and how about being cranky/irritable/moody?  affirmative.  it’s just due to basically my muscles being completely depleted, taking in very little water, pulling all sodium out of my diet, adding in pottasium, eating FOUR servings of asparagus today at all but 2 meals…and oh, not to mention the absolute butt kickin’ i got on the beach today.  i seriously may not want to ever eat asparagus again in my life.  i bought the big ol’ thick ones just because they were on sale at henry’s and boy do i wish i hadn’t.  do you know how hard it is to force feed yourself 12-15 of those things with no salt or anything…and then they’re thick as tree trunks?  yuk – makes me sick just thinking of it.  so already feeling nauseous from that coupled with the dandelion root tea (both diuretics) and not taking in any water (except very little distilled water), i then proceeded to the beach for a workout that wasn’t quite as serene and lovely as the last one.  it was a total body butt kickin’ that completely exhausted every muscle group – especially my poor little shoulders.  quite therapeutic though….after resistance bands, pushups, lunges, and all that, we had a little boxing session on the beach which let out a lot of agression (much-needed at this point in my life!).  i’d get to about failure and she’d say ’50 more!’…ugh!  after about 45m of circuit training i was so close to losing my asparagus…but oh, we went for a little jog on the beach, in the sand for 3 miles.  luckily we added in walking!  the workout on any other day wouldn’t have been too torturous but given my body’s fragile little state right now – it killed.

after that: off to shower, exfoliate and…my very first paintin’!  it was hilarious.  it’s not spray tan, or bronzer – it’s full-on dark brown paint, applied with gloves and a sponge.  yeah.  so that took about a good 45m to get me all painted up (see the pic of one leg painted and one not…and the not-painted side is after 2 weeks tanning too!).  then i practiced my posing while my tan dried.  i was SO happy – she said i’ve improved a lot and loves how my muscles are coming in.  yay!  love how the tan makes the abs pop! the funniest part – super tan body, splotchy feet and white face…hilarious.  needless to say, people definitely looked twice when i had to run in trader joes really quick (for asparagus of all things)!  i look like ross on friends when he forgets to turn in the spray tanning bed! 

so after that entertaining day i picked up mom from the airport…i’m so happy she’s here and it means so much that she’s here to support me.  and i know all my family that isn’t here is supportive too…even if they don’t understand what the heck it is i’m doing.  trust me – sometimes i don’t even know.  the diet today kicked my butt…here it is…doesn’t sound rough, but ugh…remember, no sodium/salt, no condiments, no nothin’…

• 7:00am ½ cup oats (no almond milk, just water) + low sodium protein shake, coffee(my saving grace!)
• 10:30am 3 oz extra lean ground beef, ½ cup brown rice, 12 asparagus spears
• 11:30-1:30 *workout*
• 2:00pm 3oz low-sodium tuna, ½ c quinoa, 12 asparagus spears
• 6:00pm 3oz low-sodium tuna, small sweet potato, 12 asparagus spears
  (waited 4 hours between meals because i was stuck in traffic…about passed out!)
• 9:00pm 3oz extra lean ground beef, MORE asparagus (yuk!)
• 10:00pm low-sodium protein shake

oh the only other thing: i clarified my supplements which i kinda messed up on.  i should have STOPPED creatine as of monday because it makes your retain water and i accidentally started pottassium and b6 on monday…basically monday through wednesday should have been only my multi-vitamin, zma, omegas…and then thursday through saturday is the d-root stack of dandelion root, potassium, and b6.  we’re just adding in a bit more potassium to offset that but…oops!  i should be fine though.

all in all – i’m exhausted and tomorrow is a jam packed day of working out, painting, getting my toes done, painting again…and then (ah!!!!)…steak, wine and sorbet!  i’m hungry just thinking about it.  can’t believe there’s only one day to go.  um…yeah…i’m getting nervous!  but all i keep thinking is that once i see my mom and kim sitting there in the crowd smiling at me, i’ll calm down and just do my thang…and remember that i’ve worked this hard and to enjoy it.  in the meantime, i’m cranky, tired, sticky from the paint, and an odd shade of brown with the exception of my glowing white face and streaky hands and feet.  honestly though – even through all the crankiness, i’m loving every minute of it.
off to bed…2 more days!!!

so little time!

ok quick blog – just because it’s really important to me that i blog every day this week. but seriously – where does the time go? today was crazy busy for fitlosophy…we sent out our ‘go green’ email blast to celebrate earth day: http://www.getfitbook.com/v/emails/GoGreen09/emailblast_GoGreen09.html.  so that took up a good part of the day – and then came a rush of emails about the blast, sales coming in, affiliates signing up, someone contacting me about being on a radio show (fun!)…so all good things!  what a good day for fitlosophy!  on top of all that it was yet another day of drinking water, going to the bathroom, eating, then repeat that about 10 times.  great workout at the gym – my ‘off’ day was an hour on the stepmill and oddly i was sad that it is my last hour-long stepmill session.  sick i know.  here’s the skinny on my diet for the day:

• 8:00am      6 egg whites + asparagus, mushrooms and red peppers
• 11:30am    4oz chicken + brocolli
• 2:30pm      4oz turkey + chicken broth
• 4:30pm      4oz turkey + spinach salad with oil dressing
• 6-7:30pm  *workout*
• 8:30            15 shrimp + brocolli with galeo’s
• 10:00         protein pudding

so there’s still so much to do before tomorrow…i’m going to get my butt kicked by my trainer so i prepped all my food tonight to take up there, only to find out she has all i need already up there!  off to get my first coat of paint!  i’m up late – i know – but i’ll still get my 8 hours sleep.  i have to get stuff ready before mom gets here tomorrow night.  so i better stop blogging – once i start i can’t stop!  until tomorrow….

4 days: shoes, water, 3lbs!

today was another good day – this drastic change was much needed mentally!  yay – i got my shoes today…they’re so purty and sparkly!   so now i have to wear them pretty much non-stop for the next 4 days to make sure they’re broken in.  don’t really want to fall on stage!  so i’m off to put on my sparkly bikini and my new shoes and practice my posing.  oh – if you want to know what it’s supposed to look like – my trainer sent me this link on youtube to help me with my posing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTmKnVcSnVg&feature=related.  interesting! 

how did i even complain before about 1 gallon of water? seriously…i’m completely water logged all day.  i’m a bit behind for the day because i think i still woke up full of water from my 2 gallons yesterday!  i feel so full and bloated – blah!  i have 4 more of my little water bottles to go tonight which means a night of waking up i’m sure.  this whole peeing-every-15-minutes really wreaks havoc on my productivity!  it’s SO interesting what’s happening to my body this week though – just how we can manipulate our bodies to get a certain result.  i’m not really big on weighing myself all that much because body weight can vary so much from day to day…and depending on what you ate, time of day, all that.  but i’ve pretty much been consistently 105 at 12% body fat the past few weeks.  so i wake up and weigh just for fun and i was at 108.5!!  what?  i don’t know much about this whole thing but i’m pretty sure the idea is to not gain weight!!  so i call my trainer of course to figure out what’s going on and she laughed…she said she was surprised i hadn’t gained more and that my pics looked pretty good given what we’re doing to my body the past few days.  so by loading up on sodium since saturday and taking in 2 gallons per day, i’m basically retaining a ton of water weight – which is to be expected i guess…but i just freaked when i saw 3lbs of water weight!  i was relieved to know this is normal – because i completely trust my trainer…she knows her stuff.  so then starting thursday we take out all sodium, add in potassium (sweet potatoes), reduce water intake to 1/2 gallon, and then start taking dandelion root and eating asparagus (both diuretics).  this will trick my body into continuing to flush out the water i’ve been retaining because i’ve been taking in so much fluids and then the potassium will help ‘fluff up’ my muscles, along with the sugar intake the night before. SO interesting.  she said i should lose about 5-6 lbs just from thursday thru saturday.  so i have a feeling if i think i’m going to the bathroom a lot now, just wait!!  anyway – 3lb freakout resolved…all part of the process.

oh – as promised, for those of you that are interested in my week-out diet…here’s my meal breakdown for the day:

• 8:00am       ¼c oats with almond milk + protein shake
• 11:15am      6 egg whites lightly salted
• 1:30pm       4oz turkey, vegetable soup, broccoli with galeo’s miso dijonaisse
• 4:15pm        4oz can of tuna with broccoli slaw with galeo’s
• 6-7:30         *workout*
• 8:30pm       3oz orange roughy, 2c brussel sprouts
• 10:00pm    protein pudding + hot tea

oh and yay me – i got 8.5 hours sleep last night!  so i’m wrapping this up so i can finish my work and get to bed early again.  so much to do in the next few days before my mom gets here thursday….SO looking forward to that!  
night night!

week 12 pics….my sparkly pink bikini!

today has just flown by and in an effort to make sure i have time to blog, i am doing what i do best: multi-tasking. that’s right – i’m writing my blog on my blackberry from the stepmill. why, you might ask has this day gone by so fast? well aside from it being monday which is always nuts, i slept until 8 to make sure i got my 8 hours sleep…i’m committed to bed at 10 all week this week but couldn’t wind down last night! so after a late start, i enjoyed my breakfast of oatmeal made with almond milk and my protein shake….and the got to work! using my new little flip top smartwater water bottle that i got this weekend i figured out i need to get 10 of those down to reach my 2 gallons. this little guy makes it SO much easier!! where has this been the last 11 weeks? i guess it’s because you squeze it – who knows, but I had my first gallon down by 2PM and i only have 3 to go as of 7PM so i figure i’ll just need to have one before I leave the gym, one with dinner and one before bed! so after working awhile i took my 5-egg-white-and-coffee break and then hopped in the shower to shave, exfoliate, moisturize…repeat…yeah – an hour in the shower!!!  by then it was time for lunch! i had my 4oz of chicken and veggies with chicken broth (sodium!) and back to work.  before I knew it i had to eat again – my pre-workout meal of tuna, veggies and brown rice. i was so full that i had to wait to go to the gym but i’m glad i did because whatever i ate today gave me an insane amount of energy! my workout was/is amazing (again writing this in the midst of it!). the circuits took about 50m and now i’ve got 14m and counting left on the stepmill! so – between eating every 2-3 hours, drinking endless amounts of water, going to the bathroom every 20 minutes and then my marathon shower – my day is gone! And I still have to go home, and put on my sparkly bikini for my 1 week out shots…which you’ll see below! drumroll please!!!!

don’t you just LOVE my pink sparkly bikini?  so pretty! 

this last week is time consuming but fun because it’s a much needed change. the diet and workout are both drastically different so its nice! i’m eating 6 equal meals throughout the day and have fish and/or veggies at every meal but 2. the calories are really low actually so it must be the water that’s making me so full! and even though the workout is low weight and high rep, its tough!  just 30m of cardio – love it! i’ll do weights for an hour any day over cardio but i must admit i’m hooked on this whole multitasking thing.  after pictures i will be happily grubbing on orange roughy and vegetables before I go practice my posing. moisturize again, enjoy my protein pudding, sip my hot tea and collapse in bed! of course I’m sure i’ll have to pee about 10 more times tonight but that’s a given.  where did the day go!?!?

[note: the author apologizes for any typos or misspellings but does not have time to really go through it in details so please excuse any blackberry mishaps or any sentences that just don't make sense!]