post-traumatic competition syndrome

yes this is a new term and for anybody that has done this type of competition – i guarantee they can relate!  kim warned me, but nothing could prepare me for the week to follow the competition.  i’m a really structured person and this competition created a great amount of structure for me from when and what i ate, to when i woke up and went to bed, when i worked out…everything!  so while everyone (along with me!) thought that eating whatever i wanted and taking a few days off from the gym would be wonderful after the competition…blah.  no bueno.  i seriously just wanted monday to get here so i could start a new program…which is another potential blog topic…why do i have to wait until monday to start a new program?  i do that all the time….so frustrating…but i digress…

anyway, back to the whole post competition thing.  i think that there was just so much excitement leading up to it and i was so focused….and then when it was over i just didn’t know what to do with myself.  in addition to all that, the reason i’d decided to do a competition was not only to reach the next level of fitness for myself, but also to help me get through a fairly tough time in my personal life.  it did help – it gave me something to work toward and forced me to focus on myself…but then when the competition was over, unfortunately a lot of all those fun emotions were still waiting for me to deal with.  blah blah blah.  not trying to be depressing, just honest.  i don’t want for one second for it to seem that this whole deal is just a walk in the park – it’s tough mentally and physically and i was prepared for that…but i just wasn’t prepared for what was to come after it was over.  kim told me that this would happen – that it would feel like the day after christmas…ha ha…so true!   so this past week?  i  maybe worked out 2 times at the gym and then went for a jog at the beach…my eating wasn’t too out of control because i eat fairly healthy anyway…but my portions were out of whack.  to top it all off i didn’t write in my fitbook (gasp!  shocking i know!) because i’d finished my 12 weeks at the competition and i really didn’t want to start a new fitbook on an ‘off’ week.  so that threw me off even further.  it wasn’t all bad though…i enjoyed some vino, a nice steak, had golden spoon one night…but for me, it was just the unknown of what my goals where and not having any direction whatsoever.  so now that the week is behind me – i’m glad it’s monday!!!

i’m setting my sights on my next goal…there is another figure competition in 3 weeks but that’s a bit too soon for me.  i need to spend some quality time on fitlosophy…my poor baby has been neglected due to the competition.  but for sure, my next competition is on june 27th in hawaii!!!  yay!  kim and gunter are behind the hawaiian islands bodybuilding and figure competition and so i’ve decided to compete there for sure – and take myself on a nice little vacay at the same time.  so that is 8 weeks out!  i’m spending the night tonight putting together my plan for how to get there and what i need to change up.  i spoke with a judge from the competition after it was over – she’s a pro – and she said i need to work on bringing my lats out and capping my shoulders a bit more….those are areas we knew we needed to work on so i’ll keep doing that.  you have NO idea how relieved i am to just be back in the swing of things…i’ve got my fitbook, i’m writing down my goals, planning my workouts…yes, i know i’m a structure freak.  but this is all part of learning who you are and what works for you.  i know that some people don’t understand the strict workout program or diets…but i like having some sense of control over something in my life and that’s one thing i can control.  of course i won’t be as strict on some things when i’m not competing…like a little glass of wine with dinner or golden spoon when i feel like it…but for some reason, i need that sense of structure.  yep – typical type A control freak!  ha ha!  so today was a new day and i hit the gym with a vengeance and am back on my eating plan…but not the last 3 weeks (1200 calories!)…i’m happy at the 1500-1600 level for now and then about 3 weeks out from hawaii i’ll cut back again.  i’m really looking forward to competing again actually…now that i’ve done it before i know that i can improve my posing and have more fun with it.

on a completely separate note: my girlfriend came over tonight all happy because she just finished her first fitbook and she showed me her 12 week results.  she lost 6lbs, 5% body fat, 4 inches in her waist, and 1 inch from her hips…but most importantly are 2 things i see: she’s making drastically different decisions when it comes to food which makes me happy – that’s lasting change that will benefit her from here on out, but most importantly i see confidence in her that she didn’t have 12 weeks ago.  part of this whole journey for me has been enjoying the positive influence that my decision to really be ‘open’ about my competiting and my goals has had on those around me.  i’m in no way taking credit for her accomplishments…but i do know that just being a healthy and fit person rubs off on those around you because they become more aware of their choices.  this is the same girlfriend that came over to take my pics for me every single week…and she kinda wanted to go on this journey together and i’m so proud of her hard work and am happy to see it paying off for her.  so we just both started our new fitbooks today, established our next 12 week goals…and off we go.  i guess i’m seeing new value in the little fitbook that i didn’t even see before….seeing her flip through it and show me where she started and where she is now…the confidence and pride in seeing her hard work pay off…that’s what i see.  aside from just numbers on paper – that little fitbook is just proof of her hard work and dedication.  i feel the same way when i look at my fitbook from the last 12 weeks…it becomes a part of you and your everyday.  so yes – of course i love the little fitbook and believe in it 100% (hello!?!)…but i guess i got a glimpse first-hand into how it’s changing lives and that to me means more than anything.  so i’m gonna ease up on myself about having a bad week, take a step back and realize i’m human just like everyone else, smile knowing that i achieved a very tough goal that i set out to reach, and give myself credit for growing a little company that is making people’s lives better…not too shabby. 🙂


4 Responses to “post-traumatic competition syndrome”

  1. 05.05.09 at 1:54 pm

    Another competition?? Good for you! And Hawaii! Beautiful place.
    I totally get where you’re coming from on needing structure and plans. I find I get lost and not sure what to do when I have unplanned free time. I took a week off between my workout stages and was at a loss. Luckily I was on a holiday so the plan was really to just relax.
    🙂 The fitbook is definately a wonderful tool for keeping things in line. The planning part is almost as fun as the doing part.

  2. 05.05.09 at 8:28 pm

    I can totally rely to what you are saying, to have a goal is always important.
    You’re the one to set big goals for yourself, I admire that!

    Still following your blog (and goals) – best wishes – from Lotta.

    (need a new Fitbook myself pretty soon;)

  3. 05.05.09 at 8:42 pm

    ..that was pretty soon 🙂 My Fitbook order is placed!

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