Archive for June, 2009

28
Jun
09

hawaii competition: i did it!

ahhh…it’s sunday morning and i’m outside at starbucks in waikiki drinking a coffee and just enjoyed a yummy egg and turkey bacon breakfast sandwich (on a whole wheat muffin of course!) as i blog about the competition yesterday!  first off – i’m so happy i did it, but i’m also happy it’s over so i can enjoy hawaii! 

so the day started a bit scattered yesterday because i had to catch a cab to the pre-judging and was a little late, but at most shows you have a good 2 hours to get ready and prep because figure usually goes after bodybuilding.  not at this one!  they got us in, out, and on our way!  luckily i showed up ready to go – some girls were still doing hair and make-up – but it was a bit rushed meaning that we didn’t at all have time to get our little muscles pumped up to go on stage!  that said, i was a bit frazzled, didn’t have time to practice my posing, and before i knew it i was prancing back on-stage under those big lights to do my quarter-turns.  i definitely wasn’t AS nervous as the first competition, but my little knees were still knockin’ a little bit!  and this time they had us pose for a good 5-8m which doesn’t seem long, except you’re holding your poses flexing every last little muscle the whole time.   honestly i was a bit disappointed because they moved girls around to do comparisons and never moved me – i wanted to wave my hand and say ‘hey – look at me!’  ha ha!  oh well – all i could do though was smile and do my best…and this time i kept my head up!  and as i was walking off-stage i saw kim and gunter coming in…they had just got there and they too didn’t expect us to go on so soon so they didn’t even see me.  not a big deal – i just wanted feedback on how i did.  but it was clear, after going to the dressing room that i wasn’t quite show-ready….i was dripping sweat from the posing, which i didn’t do at the last show.  the reason: i still had quite a bit of water in me.  i think the combination of not dehydrating soon enough, being sick, plus having to take that anti-biotic, i just didn’t get all the water out!  i thought i was just hot from posing but kim said it was just the extra water i had in my body, which more than likely i’d get judged down for.  what’s a girl to do?  honestly – i was just happy i wasn’t up there coughing on stage!!   

but of course, in classic ‘ang’ style, i was bummed after pre-judging and hard on myself.  i just went back to the hotel and sat on the patio thinking over and over in my head how i didn’t put my ALL into prepping for this show, but then after i sat there a bit and stared at the ocean i  just snapped myself out of it (and a few super supportive text messages and conversations helped too).  i just realized how hard i can be on myself, and while it can be a good thing because it’s what drives me – i also have to just step back and be proud of what i did accomplish.  i could have given up after the last show – but i didn’t.  i could have decided not to compete because i was sick – but i didn’t.  and the truth is, as i sat there staring out at the water, listening to the waves, i just smiled knowing that given all i have going on, i did my absolute best.  the last show i was focused 110% and put my all into it – and this show i just couldn’t.  i am so hard on myself to excel at all things i do – but i can’t be all things, all the time.  fitlosophy has been growing like crazy since the last show….and it deserved more of my time.   not to mention just wanting to spend more time with friends and family after the last competition prep took a lot of my time for over 3 months.  that said, i am so proud of myself for doing this because i had to push through some major mental barriers going from competition shape and being super-strict, super-lean – to completely hitting rock bottom and gaining weight which was hard for me to do – to getting my head back on straight, working my butt off, and coming to this competition with a renewed, healthy perspective…which is worth more to me than ANY trophy. 

so after this little thinking session on my patio, i relaxed at the hotel for a bit before i had to jump in the shower and re-paint.  yep!  last time i didn’t shower obviously because i was painted – but this time, from all the water in my body i had to shower and put another coat of paint on because i looked like a little melted candle with drippy marks all over me! :-(   i could completely tell a difference when i painted myself in the afternoon compared to the morning though that i’d lost even more water and i felt competition-ready.  kim said i easily lost another 1-2lbs of water weight from the morning to that night and probably 3-4lbs from the night before!  so i had re-painted myself, got all purtied up and left my hotel feeling very confident and just excited for the show that night…that’s the fun part anyway!  i had a great time backstage getting to know all the girls and was literally bouncing off the walls – my snack of choice this time was chocolate covered espresso beans, so you add that to my already-energetic-personality and it was just hilarious.  long story short…we all got ready for the big show, got dolled up, and pumped up (with plenty of time this time!) and had a great time.   the music, the audience, the energy – the night show is just fun, although i did miss my cheering section from last time!  i went out there with a big smile on my face and confidence knowing that i did my best and was just proud of that.  the results: i took 4th place (again!!) in my division (5’4″ and under) and am absolutely proud of myself for that.  here are a few pics from the show (more to come later)….


so after the show, i won’t lie i was a bit bummed about 4th place – but given that i didn’t put my ALL into it i’m not sure why i was expecting better.  but what i did appreciate was feedback from kim and gunter on how i did.  as far as my body goes, they said i looked good – but was just ‘smooth’ compared to the last show….because i’m tiny and don’t have a lot of muscle like some of the other girls, if i’m not super-duper lean, then you can’t see the muscle definition.  and i wasn’t quite as lean – probably another week and i could have gotten a bit more lean, but given that i seriously hadn’t worked out since tuesday because i got sick, i wasn’t surprised that my muscles didn’t pop as much.  i was back-stage just trying to get my little six-pack to show and it did a little, but not near like last time!  so that was their feedback on my body – which i loved that insight.  on another note though, they said i looked really comfortable on stage this time and said my posing was ‘spot-on’!  yay – that made me happy!!  oh and kim said i looked gorgeous (thank you!)…and a lot of that was i was just happy and having fun and it showed.  they know how i am – i’m so hard on myself, but i can honestly say that having them to give me honest feedback, and tell me exactly like it is – that’s what i needed.  no sugar coating needed – i know that if i would have trained a bit harder, ate a bit better, and didn’t completely crash after the last show – i could’ve done a lot better.  but i didn’t…and given that my head wasn’t in it 100%, i did just pretty darn good! 

sometimes i find it hard to say i’m ‘proud’ of myself when i didn’t put my all into something…not because of the result, but because what matters more to me than the outcome is the effort put forth.  so when i say that i’m proud of myself for doing this show – i mean it.  but not because i put 100% into the physical and was focused like i needed to be to compete.  i wasn’t.  for that, of course i’m disappointed with myself because i know i’m capable of much more.  i don’t like making excuses.  so i have other stuff going on…so do the other girls in the show – some of these women have 3 kids! so i got sick – yeah there were like 2 other girls that were sick too.  so excuses just don’t cut it for me and don’t make me proud of myself, despite setbacks.  but i do give myself credit where credit is due.  and this is why i’m proud of myself:  9 weeks ago i hit a super-high from doing my first show which was quickly followed by an extreme low that not only took me a good 3-4 weeks to get out of, including a few days bummed out in bed, endless phone conversations, not to mention putting on about 8-10lbs which for me is a lot on this little frame.  it took everything i had to pull myself out of that, get my butt to the gym, get re-focused, and commit to not just getting healthy physically – but getting my head back on straight.  i am SO glad i did this show for that reason and that reason alone.  i can sit here and tell you that i am now ready to get back to my normal, healthy and fit life….and getting through the last 9 weeks has prepared me for that.  where do these deep thoughts come from?  sometimes i amaze myself. :-)

so after the show last night, toting my 2-foot tall trophy (yeah – not sure how that’s getting back home!), we all meandered over to cheesecake factory – the only place open at 11:30 at night for dinner still…and yes that’s the same place that we had dinner after the last show!  no wine this time (shocker – i know)…just some decaf coffee and then i had the thai chicken lettuce wraps which just absolutely hit the spot.  nice and light – and salty, which i needed…i was so crampy from having NO sodium or water.  we all chatted about the show, grubbed our food, and then i headed back to my room where my hour-long shower ensued to remove my layers of spackle!  i crashed out and woke up this morning bright and early….and here i am now.

so now i have 2 days left in hawaii and am absolutely thrilled.  it’s 9:30am, 80 degrees, and i am going to head poolside, maybe stroll on the beach and go swimming, maybe hit some shopping with kim later, then a catamaran ride this afternoon…and we’re going out for dinner and wine tonight!  monday we’re going to hike diamondhead and then i plan to relax and take in the sun until i have to head to the airport tomorrow night.  i’ll be uploading more pics of hawaii once i’m back, but i’ll be a bit behind on work so who knows when i’ll be blogging again.  but i must say – i’ve missed it.  now – i just have to think of another goal and something to blog about. :-)  oh dear….who knows what i’ll be up to next.

on a final note: thank you (or as they say here – mahalo!) for all the love and support on my journey to compete in hawaii…it’s so appreciated.  i have the most amazing friends and family…and blog-followers - i am so blessed!
aloha – i’m off to the beach!

26
Jun
09

aloha: alive + kickin’ in waikiki!

all I can say is thank God for moms and antibiotics!  don’t know what i’d be doing right now if it weren’t for both.  the medication, combined with tons of water and even more sleep did the trick and i’m a new woman!  i’m not 100%, but at least I can function.  i’m excited because now i know that i’ll be able to compete – a few days ago it was fairly questionable.  now – i may not look quite as good because i’ve supposed to have been dehydrating the past 2 days and i couldn’t…hello…sick…need water to get better!  but other than that I still stuck to my diet.  it was actually a blessing in disguise I think.  the mere thought of eating asparagus still turns my stomach from the last competition…eating about 3lbs in one day will do that to you.  but the beautiful thing is 1) i don’t have much of an appetite so i’m not hungry and 2) i can’t taste a thing!  so i’m happily munching on my asparagus and eating low-sodium tuna from a can and have no clue that it’s absolutely disgusting.  we made a trip to the grocery store yesterday so i loaded up on my exciting foods i can eat.   i have to have sweet potatoes but i have no microwave in my room – so i got creative and bought baby food sweet potatoes which is just pure sweet potatoes and water.  brilliant!  instead of buying my asparagus at the grocery store, i’ve been frequenting the PF Chang’s right by my hotel…i’ve been there twice already and will go there again today.  i just order a large order of steamed asparagus and brown rice and for $7 i’ve got freshly steamed asparagus that is more palatable than the raw asparagus.  it’s hilarious though – you have to go to the bar to order a to-go order and i went there at like 8pm last night and while everyone is at the bar ordering drinks…i ordered asparagus.  the bartender was amused.  so my diet is in check and i should be fine there.  the workouts though…yeah i could barely move on wednesday so my exercise consisted of rolling over in bed.  and yesterday i still didn’t feel well enough to hit the gym so I went for an hour-long walk on the beach.  the sand-walking is great for your legs and it was at least some form of cardio…it’s still hard to breathe so i just didn’t want to overdo it.  i woke up this morning and went for a jog in the sand for about a half-hour and then went for another half-hour walk in the sand…bright and early at 7am.  it’s so beautiful here early in the morning.  a little later i’ll do some resistance band exercises (total body) and work my little abs.  although I must say this coughing is giving my abs quite the little workout! 

so it’s literally 8am and i’m sitting in my hotel room listening to the ocean waves and drinking a cup of coffee.  Heaven.  i’m just so thankful that i feel good enough to enjoy just how beautiful it is here.  the first picture (above) is the view from my hotel room…ok well the view straight out is just of water (not complaining here!)…but if you lean out to the left this is the view.  and then the other pic is one I took at sunset on my walk last night.  yesterday was actually overcast and it rained a few times so I didn’t feel quite as bad that I didn’t make it to the beach.  but now, i’m headed down to lay on the beach and read and/or sleep, then I have to get my pedicure and my first coat of paint tonight!  we have to do height check-in tonight at 6pm and the show is tomorrow – agghhh!  i think that just sunk in just now…now i’m nervous!  oh well.  i’m just going to have fun! 

so that’s the Hawaii update – all is well in waikiki…thank goodness!  as long as i don’t have a coughing fit on stage tomorrow, we’re good to go!  wish me luck…mahalo!!

25
Jun
09

hawaii…ugh.

so 2 days before i’m supposed to leave for hawaii i started feeling a little sick, but since i haven’t been sick in over 3 years (seriously), i thought i could kick it.  in my attempt to be ready for the hawaii show i know i’ve been pushing my body extra hard.  tuesday morning i woke up early and went and did a killer workout at the beach – then did another 2 hours in the gym later that day.  i was feeling sick that morning but stubborn little me – i just kept pushing myself.  but that night my body just shut down, i couldn’t sleep all night and had to wake up at 5am to catch my flight to hawaii.  yeah.  so i woke up sick as a dog…fever, coughing, and seriously feeling like crap.  needless to say, the flight was just miserable and the last thing on my mind was the competition…i just felt horrible.  when i got to hawaii i called my mom – because that’s what i do when i feel so yucky.  what is it about talking to your mom when you’re sick that just makes you wanna cry?  i had toughed it out all day feeling horrible and the minute i heard her voice i lost it…big baby.  ha ha!  luckily she told me to have my doctor call in a prescription for me for an antibiotic.  so i made my way to my hotel, then found the pharmacy, and while i’m feeling deathly ill they seriously took like 45m to fill one prescription.  the whole time i’m sitting there really feeling like death would be a good option at that point.  (ha ha – i know i’m dramatic!)  so i finally got my prescription, made my way back to my hotel and crashed.  all the while, all i’m thinking is that the competition wasn’t looking so good…i couldn’t even bring myself to sit up, let alone eat or workout.  so kim finally got here and being the sweetheart that she is, she brought me soup and put me in my place – telling me that i needed to just focus on feeling better and the worst case scenario is that i don’t compete and i’m in hawaii…but that my first priority was just to feel better.  i was just so bummed – i was in hawaii and all i’d seen so far was the ocean from the view of my bed!  but i didn’t have the energy to do much else.  i slept all day yesterday and woke up at 9am today (which by the way is noon my time in california!!) and thank heavens woke up feeling a little better.  not 100%, but at least my fever went down and i could function.   the problem is that to compete, the next 3 days i’m supposed to be dehydrating my body and fluids are what i need to get better!  plus i don’t feel like eating – and when i do eat, the last thing that i wanna eat right now is low-sodium tuna and asparagus.  blah!  i’m just not going to stress about it.  i’m realizing now that my body just shut down – it can only take so much stress, plus 2 hour workouts everyday on such low calories.  and sometimes – you just need to listen to your body – and when you don’t, it makes sure it gets your attention.  mine did…with a vengeance! 

so that said – i wish i could report that hawaii is just fantastic and i’m having a great time…but it is what it is.  lucky for me i have a pretty good sense of humor and i can laugh this off.  i made my way over to starbucks to get caught up on email and just felt like i should check in on my blog.  i’ve gotten so many emails from my blog-readers (thanks for the support!) and i know i’ve been neglecting my blog.  i have to update everyone on all the good things going on with fitlosophy.  while i was excited for the hawaii competition – i just wasn’t “in it” like i was the first one, because to be honest, i had so many other good things going on!  i’m grateful for that!  not to mention, as i’ve said in my previous blogs, i’m just ‘over’ not eating and working out 2 hours a day….it’s summer and i wanna enjoy myself.  but – anything i do i wanna do well so i’ve pushed myself pretty hard.  hence – my body just coming to a crashing halt.  i’m pretty sure i’ll still compete – i may not look as good, but i’m just proud of what i’ve accomplished and can’t be so hard on myself.  i’m in hawaii for heaven’s sake!  i’m going to stick to my pre-competition diet as much as possible, with the exception of dehydrating myself today, and we’ll just play it by ear.  if i continue feeling better, there’s no reason for me not to compete – besides, the day of the competition is the fun part and i’ve worked to hard to not have a little fun! 

so i’m going to head to the beach…lay out and rest…and then maybe go for a long walk in the sand to get some sort of workout but still relax and enjoy myself.  thanks again for all the support….i’ll keep you posted on hawaii.
aloha!!

15
Jun
09

nifty low-cal tweaks + treats

so out of desperation really i’ve figured out a few tweaks to make here and there to make my recipes better – so i wanted to share my latest one!   my protein pancakes are super yummy – but as you know, when you make any protein pancakes, they are runny and are very thin!  well – i’ve been adding psyllium husks to my protein pudding at night for a long time now because it adds fiber and if you let them sit a bit, they expand…so you feel more full!  so i thought i’d try adding just a tablespoon of those to my protein pancake recipe and sure enough…it made them nice and fluffy!  you can buy the psyllium husks at any health foods store (whole foods, trader joes) or at a supplement store too.  they add a ton of fiber to whatever you add them to and 1 tablespoon only adds 20 calories!  just make sure you’re drinking enough water when using these in your diet.  oh but they made my protein pancakes about 10 times better – so exciting!

another treat that i just discovered (to add to my list of cinnamon and splenda creations) is when watching calories, it’s hard to include peanut or almond butter in your diet because they’re so calorie dense.  so – that leaves me eating a plain apple all alone and it’s just boring.  SO i took 1/4 cup non-fat greek yogurt (which is MUCH creamier than regular yogurt – plus super high in protein) and i added a teaspoon each of splenda and cinnamon!  it seriously tastes like cinnomon cream cheese frosting!  so i dip my apple slices in that and i’ve got me a sub-100-calorie treat with 14g of protein!

lastly, i wanted to share my chocolate protein souffle recipe that i have about an hour before bed every night!  i’ve had 3+ months to perfect this so it’s a great way to curb my sugar cravings and also keep me full through the night!  it’s using this new protein (i may have mentioned it before!) from fasttracktofatloss.com called protein freeze.  the idea behind is it is to literally use this protein powder to make ice cream…but there are recipes for all kinds of yummy stuff. the reason i love it is that it’s really low-calorie (only 130 cal per scoop).   so here is my chocolate protein souffle:  i take a scoop of the chocolate protein freeze, added 1/4 c chocolate almond milk (unsweetened so it’s only45cal), and then 1 tbsp psyllium husks and mix thoroughly.  let it sit for about a minute to let the psyllium husks expand.  microwave for 25s, take it out and stir it…then microwave another 20-25s and it forms this super yummy brownie-like yummy goodness around the edges with a still gooey inside like a souffle!  the entire yummy treat is only 150 calories but has 22 g of protein per serving.  SOOOOO good!

that’s it for now!  more to come later…

15
Jun
09

MIA + 2 weeks out!

yes….i realize i’ve been M.I.A lately…but here i am!   i convinced myself that no one would really notice – until i started getting emails from people saying they’ve missed my blogging!  not only that – but emails of support as i near my next competition.  so first of all – thank you…1/2 of you i’ve never met and you’re so supportive of my little endeavors.  honestly – i’ve been slacking on my blogging for a few reasons:

1) i’ve been super busy.  i’m so happy to report that fitlosophy is doing so well and it’s kept me running around in circles.  i will be blogging about that shortly as soon as the deals get a little closer to being final…so keep your fingers crossed!  so that’s a good thing – i’ve been busy and just working to grow this little company that i love oh-so-much. 

2) another reason i’ve been busy is that i’ve started to train a few select clients so that is taking up quite a bit of time, but i must say that i absolute love it!  one of my guys has lost 12 lbs in 4 weeks and i’m not sure who’s happier – him or me!  i just realize i have an absolute passion for helping people and that combined with my love for fitness and health makes training a no-brainer for me.  i originally got certified so i looked ‘legit’ for fitlosophy, but i didn’t know i’d love training so much! 

3) and finally – i have to admit that this competition is just SUPER TOUGH to commit to like the last one.  since that was my first one there was just the element of newness and excitement and that, coupled with all the support i had behind me made it easier to stay focused.  now – i’m just tired…hungry…and tired of being hungry!  so i just haven’t been as excited to blog when i’m not as ‘in it’ and as motivated as i think i should be.

all that said – i’m blogging now because it’s important to express everything…not just the good.  as i stated before, the weeks after the competition were tough.  and having to jump back into training for this next competition was really hard.  it was easy in that i could go back to my ‘structure’ that i thought was what i needed, but it wasn’t exactly fun to go back to those hours-on-end on the stepmill, or eating sub-1300 calories.  it’s tough…and without the energy around it being my ‘first competition!!!’  – well i’m just getting through each day.  moreso, i think i’m just craving (pun intended!) getting back to life.  while i love the competition – the goal – and the process of achieving something…i also miss my life being more about what my body looks like or what i’m eating.  while i am proud of myself for taking my body to the extreme and achieving a great goal, i’ve also come to realize that i have so much more to offer than just what my body looks like…and that i have to accept that i looked just pretty damn good before i started competing too!  it’s this whole body dysmorphic thing that you go through – where after you’ve been so fit, so lean, it’s hard to go back to just normal.  and normal for me is pretty darn fit!  that’s going to my challenge post-hawaii is getting back to being me…both physically and mentally.  i’m SO ready to enjoy the summer and all that that entails.   anyone that knows me knows that i’m a health nut anyway – but i also enjoy most anything in moderation.  that means golden spoon on saturday afternoon with my girlfriends, a glass of wine at a nice dinner, sharing dessert with friends, or even (heaven forbid) skipping  a hard-core workout at the gym to go enjoy a day at the beach.  

so that’s where my head is at.  but i must stay focused.  only 2 weeks until hawaii and my reward: HAWAII!  i can do this for 2 more weeks…i’m just hoping my body reacts to my workouts and diet and is where it needs to be.  i still have about 5lbs to lose and i’m sure i can do it and will be ready for the competition…but either way, i’m going to be proud of myself just for doing it and will reward myself by laying on the beach and reading for hours on end.  oh i can’t wait!  i just got done planning out what i need to do to get ready before i leave.  as of tomorrow i have to start tanning at the tanning beds again and then at 1-week-out the fun begins: painting, exfoliating, manis and pedis, and oh the joy of asparagus!  should be interesting with the diet and everything while also traveling to hawaii.  i will have to board my flight with a little cooler of asparagus, brown rice, tuna, and oats!  i have to prepare the week before like crazy…but i’m not going to worry about that now.  i still have work to do before that! 

lastly – i thoroughly enjoyed my off day after 6 straight days at the gym and for my active rest i went rollerblading at the beach….beautiful day and just what my mind/body needed.  so i must go prep my food for the next week and get things done…then after i finish my gallon of water, it’s off to bed by 10!  and thanks to those of you who reached out to me via email – so sweet and so appreciated.  i promise to not go 2 weeks again…i’ll be giving a play-by-play up to hawaii!  13 days…and counting!

02
Jun
09

4 weeks…to compete or not to compete?

funny how much i always looked forward to blogging whenever i was doing well – but i seem to phase out a bit when the going gets tough.  humans are so predictable!  so i’m checking in because 1) it’s good for me and 2) it will get me focused and energized.  the good news is that i’m officially out of my funkity funk and have a lot more clarity on what i’m doing and where i’m going.  the question i’ve been struggling with lately is whether or not i’m going to compete in hawaii in 4 weeks.  my close friends and family have posed this question, and rightfully so, given the roller coaster of emotion following the last show.  i know that whatever my decision they will support me 100%, but i know they just have my best interest at heart.  i’ve had a lot going on in my life and so their thought is that i just need some stability and possibly just go to hawaii, enjoy some downtime, but without the pressure of competing.  it was suggested that i might learn more about myself from NOT competing than going ahead and competing.  and i have no doubt that this is true.  for someone as bull-headed as me to set a goal and then not put my all into accomplishing it – that just seems unfathomable (is that a word?).  but what i also realized is that i am who i am and i have to make a decision that i’m comfortable with – that makes me happy.

which is why i’ve decided to go ahead and compete.  there’s definitely part of me that is now just yearning to get back to normal life…enjoy that glass of wine or have dessert, and like i mentioned in my last blog session…just live life.  summer is here and i don’t want to spend it being so structured!  that said – it’s 4 weeks…only 4 weeks. i want to prove to myself  not that i can get to competition shape – i know i can because i already did it once…but more so, i want to prove to myself that i can do it and then get through to the otherside without the crash.  i know there will still be some sort of let down after it’s over, but i’ll be prepared this time.  and i’ve planned for other events AFTER the competition so i have something to look forward to instead of just having everything coming to a screeching halt after it’s over.  and honestly – i’m not doing it as much to prove anything – but because i set this goal and i can’t think of anything better than going to hawaii and competing – and then rewarding myself with 3 days doing nothing but laying on the beach…with a mai tai! 

you’d be surprised how accountable this blog and those weekly pics kept me…knowing that your pics are going to be taken every week definitely keep you focused!  so i’m not taking weekly pics to hawaii because that was just part of my 12 week countdown to my first show…but i will update you on my stats.  so last week i happily shed 3 of the lbs i had gained after the show which was pretty much mostly water weight and carbs.  my body is still craving carbs like no other but at 4 weeks out i’ve gotta buckle down.  i’m at about 112 right now and ideally i’ll be back at my show weight of 105-106…and kim says it’s possible but i have to work my butt off.  so this week i’m doing the same workout but for cardio i’m doing 3 days of interval training for 45m and then 3 days of steady state cardio (140bpm) for 1 hour.  oh how i’ve missed those hour-long cardio sessions (not!).  then for my nutrition i’m at 1300-1400 calories per day.  it’s a natural temptation to want to cut more calories to lose the weight but 1) i don’t want to lose muscle so i have to feed the little guys and 2) it backfires every time even if i try because my body needs fuel!  once i flipped the switch in my head from my food being an emotional fix to giving my body what it needs to perform optimally, i’ve been right on track.  so 4 weeks to hawaii…i’m in this 100% until then.  if you have any questions or comments let me know…i love reading the comments and answering any questions!
aloha for now!




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