desperate times call for…different measures.

ok, not really desperate, as much as just ready for results.  my souvenir italian pounds are no longer funny and my feeble attempt to get sPoOkYfIt was less than impressive. and yet, somehow i muster up the courage to (yet again) open up my little soul on my blog.  why, might you ask?  well, i know that as frustrated as i get (and this is what i do for a living!), there must be a few more people out there that can relate.  see, i’m never gonna be one of those 6-pack-poppin’ chicks that will tell you: “just workout and eat healthy, it’s that easy!”.  because it’s not.  yes, that is the science behind it. calories in, calories out.  move more, eat less.  blah, blah, blah. maybe that works for 20% of the population. but then, and i’m making a bold statement here, the other 80% of us are our own worst enemy. we get stuck in our own head. the intentions are good and yet we get in our own way.  and my belief is that by struggling time and again to lose weight in attempt to “be happy”, we are merely treating the symptom, not the problem.  see i know that when i’m not at my healthiest, regardless of the number on the scale, it’s not that i’m unhappy because i’m muffin-toppin’ (and trust me: i don’t love this)…but my love handles are a sign that i’m unhappy.  they are the symptom, not the cause. capisco?  when i’m happy i make good choices that are good for my body. when i’m stressed and unhappy, i soothe myself with food.  disordered? yes.  common? absolutely.

see to the world, i can appear as whatever i want to be. i call it my “facebook” life.  jet-setting here, off to meetings there, launching this-product-and-that, oh-wow-look-at-me!  and while all those things are true – they are about 10% of the story of me. yes, that is my life and a blessed one it is.  but i am real, complete with insecurities, vulnerabilities, and an ongoing internal struggle that my worth is somehow equivalent to what i look like in the mirror that morning.  and i have this wonderful company with a mission to communicate otherwise, to inspire other to live life fit, and i have days where i feel like a fake.

and then i remember this: that in spite of my own shortcomings, i have a calling to relate to people. to use the platform that God’s given me to touch even just one life when someone reads this and realizes “i’m not alone.”  i remember years (and years) of isolation as i lived a perfectionistic life inside a body that would fluctuate from 98 to 130lbs. nobody understood and heaven forbid anybody find out.  and even now, when insecurities and fears strike, those same haunting thoughts lurk in my mind.  the difference is now, i use that as motivation to drive me.

12-weeks til my next birthday.  perhaps it’s the motivation to prove to myself that i still got it. (yes, i do.)  or maybe i’m just sick of mediocre results. either way, tomorrow kicks off my all-in, crazy-committed, 12-weeks to shredded.  january will be my 33rd birthday and much more exciting, the 5th birthday of fitlosophy.  and in celebration we’ll be launching new products that may quite possibly feature yours-truly in dvds of some sort.  and i want to feel good, to exude happiness, rock confidence. THAT is my why.  and i’ll blog along the way (yes, through the holidays).  here’s my 12-week plan:

WORKOUT: created by my (super-cute) workout partner and equinox trainer

NUTRITION: created by me, inspired by muscle + fitness hers article on carb-cycling, plus recent reading up on this from chris powell and jamie eason.  i’m SO NOT a calorie counter, but this is carb-counting. here’s the gist:  4-day low-carb (for me, 50g), 1-day high-carb (200g), and 1-day moderate (100g)…repeat. here’s a lil’ thumbnail of the m+f hers article that i’m basing my plan off of.  i’m always game for trying something new and i’m excited to see the results of essentially going complete paleo, and just adding in high-carb days to shock the system and power-up my workouts!

my recent excuses: traveling a TON.  but excuse no more!  see, i always have a choice, i just am CHOOSING to make this time different.  my day tomorrow is insane, but funny enough, i took the time to make sure i’m prepared for the day ahead.  it looks like this:

6:00am   lift chest + shoulders
6:45         20m sprints on treadmill
7:15          get ready at the gym
7:45          (quickly) eat breakfast – i made it tonight!
3 egg + 3ew spinach + pepper omelet w/avocado
8:00         meeting with Equinox buyer
9:00         team meeting at office (coffee on the way, NO cream…oy)
10:30       snack: 1/4c cashews
12:30pm  lunch (packed tonight)
spinach salad w/baby beets, tomatoes, chicken & balsamic vinegar
1:00          head to airport
2:15          flight to las vegas
3:15          snack: tuna + cucumbers (i’m sparing my fellow fliers…i’ll wait til i land!)
4:00         30-min cardio at the hotel
8:00      dinner meeting at the wynn
white fish grilled, no butter or oil, steamed veggies &
side salad with olive oil & vinegar
NO vino (don’t feel sorry for me – i made up for it in italy!)
10:00   BED! (yes, in vegas!)

all my food is prepped: this pic is proof!  see, when i say i don’t have time, it’s just code for “i’m lazy” or “it’s not that important to me.”  honestly, i’m excited. and why is this time different? well, here’s 3 reasons why: 1) i have a rock-solid PLAN in place with a clearly defined WHY, 2) i have an accountability partner + motivator lined up to keep me going on days where i might veer off course, and 3) i’m blogging through it…and the last time i blogged religiously through a program, well – you saw the sparkles.

yours truly,


4 Responses to “desperate times call for…different measures.”

  1. 1 Genise
    11.05.12 at 7:05 am

    I love this, Angela! Thanks for sharing and for keeping it real. Your “why” is awesome – feeling good, happiness, and confidence – is there anything better than that?! Your detailed plan for your day and meal preparation ahead of time has inspired me – that is my downfall. I will have to check out that article from m+f hers. I just saw the “Practical Paleo” cookbook at Costco this weekend and got me thinking about paleo (I hear a lot about it at Crossfit). I know you’ll reach your goals….you have a solid plan in place and you are motivated! I look forward to following your journey and learning a few things myself. 🙂

  2. 11.05.12 at 12:21 pm

    Angela, you described me to a T. I have struggled over and over. I am so tired of the mental struggle and beating myself up. It gets old to repeatedly do at times. I have had to turn back to intuitive eating and forgo all of my elaborate plans for “the perfect me”. The time has come for me to learn to be more compassionate with me, like me, well…. I guess love me. The scale is done. I can’t live this life of obsession anymore. Good luck on your 12 week program! Knock ’em dead!!!

  3. 3 Reyes A.
    11.05.12 at 8:19 pm

    WOW!! Unbelievable how reading one article from someone that I always felt “had it together, living the healthy life” actually struggles like the rest of us. I still struggle everyday to make better choices and exercise more. My constant stress and insecurities make it so hard to “do the right thing”!! Reading this, HONESTLY gave me motivation and made me realize that we all have our own demons but with the help and support of others, we can rid ourselves of these demons and we can start on a journey of living life fit. I am going to join you in your twelve week journey and see where it takes me. Thank you for this article

  4. 4 Cristal
    11.05.12 at 10:37 pm

    LOVE this. Thanks for being so open and honest. I set a plan to actually lose a couple lbs through the holidays and not just maintain (I know, how dare I?). Funny thinf is that like you, I started 12 weeks out from my next birthday too! I have 6 weeks to go so I will be looking forward to your weekly blogs to keep me motivated…I’ll come looking for you if I don’t see a post at least once a week missy! 🙂

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